Updated: Jan 23
Stress is prevalent in our society today because there is more of everything. More information, more choices, more people to meet, more to do, in short more demands on our time.
What burns people out? Not controlling these “mores”. Not setting up boundaries.
Here are 4 boundaries where you need to set up your personal border control if you want to live a stress-free life:
1) The Boss
We all know that we can only do so much, so it is important to focus on the important things first. Take on more and it will likely have a negative impact on the objectives you are already working on. The boundaries with the boss need to be agreed and set up front. Quality and success or quantity and probable missed deadlines and frustration. This one requires “brave leadership” for sure.
At work time for chatting and socializing is important. Relationships have to be built and often the informal network provides information that is more useful than the information that flows from more formal channels. However, gossiping peers can sap your energy and disrupt your flow. Also, when they are constantly asking for your input or help, maybe you are being abused. A favour is one thing, but sacrificing your own time constantly is another.
3) Friends & Family
Friends and family are the bedrock on which you support your life. People who don´t have this group as a priority will end up with an empty life. However, this does not mean that you have to let this group of people dictate what you do. It is still necessary to control when you dedicate time even to your nearest and dearest, Boundaries are relevant here.
Surprised by this one?! Well if you are like me, you can be your own worst enemy when it comes to setting boundaries. Do you set yourself a series of New Year´s resolutions each year, most of which you don´t achieve? Do you push yourself to do better and take on more and more new and diverse projects to grow and advance in life? Do you like to stretch yourself?
These may seem like excellent traits to have, but high achievers can push themselves too far or in too many directions. This can lead to burn-out.
You need to protect yourself from yourself! Build in down-time and set boundaries for your own ambition.
There you have it, four places where perhaps you need to consider controlling who and when people cross your boundaries and learning to say no, even to yourself.